Likelihood of Success

ABC News reports that a leading cancer researcher has informally let it be known that, definitive scientific results notwithstanding, he thinks gluing a cell phone to the side of your head probably does fry your brain:

“Really at the heart of my concern is that we shouldn’t wait for a definitive study to come out, but err on the side of being safe rather than sorry later,” Herberman said.

No other major academic cancer research institutions have sounded such an alarm about cell phone use. But Herberman’s advice is sure to raise concern among many cell phone users and especially parents.

In the memo he sent to about 3,000 faculty and staff Wednesday, he says children should use cell phones only for emergencies because their brains are still developing.

Adults should keep the phone away from the head and use the speakerphone or a wireless headset, he says. He even warns against using cell phones in public places like a bus because it exposes others to the phone’s electromagnetic fields.

I’d keep that little Bluetooth thingy out of your ear, too. Why on earth actually inject electromagnetic waves into your head? Waves, or beams, or particles, or phlogiston. Whatever.

I tend to be really skeptical about sky-is-falling public health panics. This one I buy, intuitively, based on my utter lack of understanding of a single scientific, medical or technical issue involved. And, as an American and a blogger, I am committed to standing on that platform of ignorance and shouting terror and fear to the rooftops. Laugh if you will, but keep that damned thing away from my noggin.