Likelihood of Success

James Lileks can’t stand them!

Eat them, not me! Can’t you tell by my posture and expression that I identify with you? I’m better than those stupid birds. They deserve to be eaten. Here – let me go get you some gravy. Later, I can whistle Mozart, if you like. I love Mozart, don’t you? All of us smart bipeds love Mozart! Those stupid birds couldn’t sing two bars of “Turkey in the Straw.” Me, I’m not fond of the tune – it’s a little simple, don’t you think? Of course, if you appreciate folk music as an expression of the people – there was an article in Life magazine about that last week, did you read it? – then I suppose it has its place, but frankly I just think turkey culture is just too low, too base – yes yes, I’ll shut up, of course! Anything you say. Shut up it is.